Intermission
by Random Guise
Summary: Based on a movie very few on here have probably seen, the 1983 "Strange Brew". During the film there is a seven second intermission. Hmmm, just enough time to wedge in a short story, eh? I don't own these characters or a van that sinks to the bottom of the river like a rock.


**A/N: A short that takes place during the seven second intermission in the movie "Strange Brew".**

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Intermission

Toronto police inspector Pierre Lemerde looked out over the water with the skyline with the CN tower in the background. The water was still and there was no sign of the van that plunged off the dock or its two occupants; even Jean LaRose had failed to surface after rescuing Pamela Elsinore from drowning. "Down there ten minutes? Nobody can last that long. Not Houdini, not anyone" he lamented as the sun was fading fast to close out a Monday evening. He stuck his hands in his trench coat and sighed.

"Should we bring in the dive team?" an officer asked beside him.

Lemerde rubbed his chin in thought. "No, it's getting too late and I don't want to risk any officers. This is a recovery operation now, not a rescue. At first light tomorrow we'll send an officer along the shore in each direction with a K-9 to look for anyone that's washed up while we bring in the divers." Off to one side medical personnel worked on Henry Green after he had been removed from one of the empty beer kegs that had fallen out of the van in the pursuit.

On Tuesday Inspector Lemerde received the onsite update on the situation from his officers. "Any signs of somebody washed up?" he asked.

"Just a down-on-his luck actor who asked us for a handout, Inspector Le Merde" one officer summarized.

"It's pronounced Lem-urd" the inspector corrected for the millionth time.

"Sorry. Do we proceed with the diving team?" A team of four divers stood nearby in their wetsuits beside a truck equipped with every bit of conceivable gear.

"No sense putting it off I guess. I want..." the inspector started before being interrupted with the news he had an important call. After several minutes leaned over into his vehicle talking on the radio, he emerged. "The dive is called off for today, guys. The President of the United States picked today to ride through the bay in his Navy 1 nuclear sub on his 'Safety Through Nuclear Missiles' tour. They want the whole area cleared for security reasons. We'll have to pick this up tomorrow. Tell the men to pack their gear up and clear out."

Off to one side medical personnel continued to work on Henry Green as a spirited debate raged about how to apply the bandage to his forehead.

Wednesday dawned clear and warm as Inspector Lemerde scanned the water again.

"That was sure some show yesterday" an officer remarked. "Good thing that was only a false alarm during the tour; I was afraid those missiles were really going to be launched."

"Just part of the show...I hope" Lemerde said. "Now that we don't have to worry about foreign dignitaries, let's get on with our rescue."

"Inspector!"

Lemerde turned to the shouting officer who was holding the radio mic out a squad car window. "Now what" he thought to himself as he made his way to the call. He said a few words into the mic, listened briefly and tossed it back into the vehicle.

"Listen up everyone!" the inspector announced. "We just got a call from downtown; someone spread a false rumor George Lucas has open casting calls for the next Star Wars movie and there's a riot going on from crazed fans. All officers are to report for crowd control duty immediately. Move it!"

The police departed, leaving medical personnel to continue working on Henry Green, now discussing whether the bruise on his leg was a normal one or a deep bruise.

On Thursday Lemerde stood on the dock at the edge of the water; in his hand was a radio microphone he had ripped out of his car, the bare wires emerging from the end of the coiled cord. "Okay team, no more interruptions - move into the water. Lights on, check your lines, and release a buoy when you find the bodies. Move out!"

Henry Green was finally being loaded into an ambulance to be taken from the scene after the medics shaved his three day-old beard and shined his shoes. No one noticed the emergency vehicle had Ontario license plates as the doors were slammed shut and it sped off.

Meanwhile, the divers neared the submerged van in an attempt to recover the bodies of brothers Bob and Doug McKenzie, suspected in the kidnapping of Elsinore Brewery heiress Pamela Elsinore...

The End

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**A/N: Sure, the movie was based on Hamlet but don't confuse the two stories. It was a little like the later "Bill & Ted" movies but with less intelligent characters, if that's possible. I would compare it to "Dumb and Dumber" but since I haven't seen _that_ movie...**


End file.
